This was posted by Ryan's father yesterday and it will likely be the last posting on CarePages. (I don't think he would mind if I shared what he wrote) This journey with Ryan has been truly amazing and a huge witness to the healing power of our Lord God.
A Valediction
Posted 11 hours ago
For those of you with children, I'm sure you remember what it felt like the day you took the training wheels off their bike, sat them on the seat and gave them that last push as they wobbled down the street by themselves. (I always ran behind them, just out of sight, ready to grab them up at the first sign of trouble) As I remember, the feeling was four parts pride of accomplishment, three parts joy and excitement and one part fear of the unforeseen. Those are wonderful moments to remember, knowing they have taken their next big step in their lives. Sherry and I did something like that again last week when we dropped Ryan off at Tennessee Tech University in Cookeville, TN.
As you know, Ryan had a craniotomy to replace his skull on December 11, 2008. He was very happy when he was discharged less than 24 hours after the surgery. Ryan was happy but that meant his family had to care for the terrible looking wound on his head all by themselves. We managed that process OK but as usual, Ryan accepted the circumstances without complaint. After a few days, he had excessive swelling and fluid build-up on the left side of his head. He said he could hear a gurgling noise whenever he moved. He made jokes about hearing the ocean and regularly enjoyed grossing out his mother when he pushed on the bulge saying something like "look, it's a water balloon". His good-natured acceptance of the situation has been a wonderful reassurance and a constant joy.
It's been over a month since the operation, the staples have been removed and all the swelling is gone. Ryan's hair is growing back nicely and soon, with a little more growth, there will be little visible evidence of the trauma or even the operation. Ryan's still suffers from pain that runs down his right leg from damage to his sciatic nerve. We are working toward a complete diagnosis of the problem but that seems to be the extent of his remaining injuries.
Ryan can't remember the accident, can't remember much of his stay in the hospital but has most of his memories from the rehabilitation hospital. Other than the loss of about two weeks of memory (one of which he was in a coma) his memory is 100%. This is not just an observation, during his outpatient therapies; he went through a battery of tests including mental, physical, short and long-term memory, coordination, balance, hearing, eyesight and more. Each test compared his performance against an average for someone his age and each test he did at least average or better. Some tests were so much better than average the therapists were very impressed.
When Ryan was in the ICU, due to the extent of his injuries the doctors only spoke of a future that held mental, physical, emotional and speech limitations. To prepare us, they gave us a guidebook for families living with TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). We tried to read the book but could not bring ourselves to apply their terrible descriptions to our son and we quit. Some of the hospital staff found out we weren't reading it and we were scolded because we needed to "prepare ourselves for his care". These were among the darkest days of our lives and they reinforce the fact that Ryan wasn't just lucky; he received a miracle cure from God.
On our last visit to the Neurosurgeon, I questioned the doctor about activities Ryan should avoid after a craniotomy. (I was actually hoping he would say something about skateboarding was off limits but no such luck.) I was surprised to hear there are very few limitations he has to follow. According to the doctor (and these are really what he said) Ryan should no longer consider a career in the NFL, no professional hockey, no bungee jumping and no deep-sea or scuba diving. Other than that, he encouraged Ryan to participate in all life's activities. (He did emphasize he should wear a helmet when appropriate)
While Ryan was recovering, he had a lot of time for introspection. He came out of that process with a new focus and determination to achieve his goals. Prior to the accident, like many students, he was unsure what he really wanted to do. Now, he has a laser focus on a career as a Pharmacist. When he was preparing to re-enroll at the university, he wanted to sign-up for a VERY heavy course load saying he needed to "catch-up". Most of the classes he needed were extremely challenging and both Sherry and I had to do a lot of talking to get him to reduce the schedule down to the following:
Chemistry
Microbiology
American Literature
Golf
We were both happy with the course load reduction. Sherry still isn't too happy with the choice of the golf class though. She keeps thinking about lines of people swinging clubs right next to her son's head and errant golf balls flying every which way. I think that if he made it through a traumatic brain injury, he's toughened up enough for a round of golf.
Ryan has been at home for the last three months. During that time, Sherry and I were able to spend a tremendous amount of time with him. Not just a few minutes at the dinner table but hundreds of hours spent together. As terrible as the reason for being homebound was, we've been blessed by the time we shared with him. What a wonderful person we've had the honor of raising. We are proud of the man that he has become and thank God for lending him to us. With everything we've been through, it's been a tough transition to let him go. Every time I walk past his empty room I miss having him here but at the same time, overjoyed he is back at University.
As I write what I expect to be my final entry to this journal, I am humbled by the outpouring of support we have received. From the first hours, we have been surrounded with so much love, prayers, encouragement, and support I can't begin to detail them all here. So many people came to visit in the hospital, brought food there and to our home for weeks and weeks... Thank you Many more people from all over the world kept Ryan & my family in their prayers… Thank youTo all my friends & family who lived with us 24/7 for over a week in the hospital… Thank youTo Ryan's friends who repeatedly visited him both day and night… Thank you. The Corning family is blessed by what you have done.
Let me end by mentioning something very special that been happening. A wonderful friend of mine sent me a Psalm and a Prayer when the accident occurred. It was sent to uplift Ryan and help us endure. The next day, I received another Psalm and a Prayer from him and I've received one every day since then. Seven days a week, the first email that I receive is a Psalm and a prayer. What a wonderful way to start the day! Here's a copy of one he sent recently- just one of the many things I can never repay:
Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord guards the city, the guard keeps watch in vain. It is in vain that you rise up earlyand go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives sleep to his beloved.
Psalm 127:1-2
Let us not suppose that it was us who did everything right when Ryan was injured and made all the correct decisions so that he would recover. Let us not believe that surgeons, nurses, and therapists alone could save Ryan's life. All their knowledge, skills, and tireless work are nothing without the will and hand of God. It is God who made this miracle. To everyone we give our heartfelt thanks. And to God we give our adoration and praise. And now, we ask for your continuing blessing on Ryan as he has returned to school. There will be many challenges, and he will need your help daily. Please stay steadily by his side.
Amen
With Gratitude,
Dan
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