'roid rage

Please hurry up and get me off these steroids.  I am turning into a crazy person.  I am getting so moody, impatient, and downright mean.  I can't think straight sometimes.  Not to mention, I'm still wanting to eat a lot, although that has gotten a little better after the first two weeks or so that I was on the prednisone (and by "better" I mean that I'm not randomly craving Taco Bell at 9:30 pm anymore).  My face is getting the moon-shape (aka: fat face).  I can't sleep for more than about 7 hours every night.  And forget about taking a nap- that idea is out. (I used to be able to sleep all the time.) 

And for a list of other potential side effects, please click here.

Buuuuuuuut, the obnoxious, inflammatory, problem-causing nodules in my lungs are disappearing.

So can I complain?  Not really.  But I'm going to anyway for a minute.  God knows my heart.  ;-)

Anyway, 'roid rage is real.  My husband will tell you it's true.  Bless his heart.  I was horrible to him on Saturday and I of course apologized and prayed for forgiveness at church the next morning. 

To make things worse, my self-esteem is dropping quickly because I feel like a hateful, over-eating cow who no one would possibly want to be around, especially not Topher.

Now as a disclaimer, I have always had tendencies toward a hot temper.  I grew out of this slowly over the years, but it rears its ugly head now and again.  By God's grace and the Holy Spirit, I have become a much more peaceful, patient, loving person.  That's why I know something is terribly wrong...

LORD, help me!  I am on a taper for this medication and I feel like I'm going to have to take these stupid pills for forever.  I'm on 40 mg until Friday (when I see lung doc again).  He'll likely cut my dose in half again.  I'll probably have to be on 20 mg for another two weeks.  Then 10 mg for two weeks, then 5 mg for two weeks.  So potentially six and a half more weeks?!  BAH! 


Pray for Christopher.